Today has been one of the most emotional days of our lives. Our beta results came back negative at a one. I had already taken a pregnancy test on Thursday morning and felt pretty confident that it didn't work but I still held out hope. My doctors office said it was fairly common for women to have a negative HPT and a positive blood test. That just wasn't the case for us. Our plan now is to take a couple of months off and start my body off on glucophage which can help with many of the PCOS side effect. Then our next step will be to do a frozen embryo transfer (FET) once my body has adjusted. We have an appointment next Friday to discuss this failed cycle and what the FET process will be like. I am a little nervous about starting glucophage because of the potential side effects but will continue to push through.
Earlier this month we had an answered prayer which will allow us to fund the FET. Kevin and I bought a piece of property up in Sanger back in 2008 where we thought we would build a home some day. Last year we decided that's not where we wanted to live and we decided to put it on the market. Selling the land gave us a small amount back which will hopefully be right around the cost of the FET. God truly does provide for us when we trust and follow him, and we will continue to do just that. I know God will provide a way for us to continue the treatments even if we end up having to do IVF again. I will do whatever it takes and I won't give up just as God hasn't given up on his children.
Kevin and I talked today about our journey to each other and how God had a plan for us before we ever knew it. We know God has plan for us as parents as well and that journey might just take a little longer than we expected or desired. I never realized that I could love Kevin more with every passing day but I do. This journey has made us even closer and I am so thankful for my true love.
The emails, calls, flowers and prayers today have helped more than you will ever know. We truly have the greatest friends and family anyone could ever ask for. Our parents have been a great strength to us as well and we appreciate their love and support. I have a dear friend who has been in my exact shoes today and her words meant more than she will ever know. I know God put her specifically in my life for this exact day and I am so thankful for her friendship and encouragement.
We know God has a specific plan for us and we will continue to follow his guidance for our lives. We will live on faith and ask God to direct us as we move ahead. We ask for your love and prayers as we continue on this journey. I know we will have many ups and downs along the way but with our faith and love we will be able to make the way!
Jul 29, 2011
Jul 22, 2011
Pain, Progestrone and the Frozen Embryo
Progesterone in Oil injections are a pain in the butt, literally! I have bruises, knots and can barely sit on my rear. I had been forewarned that POI injections were crappy but I really didn't get it, until now! My sweet husband does such a great job giving me the shots but its the after pain and knots that hurt not the shot itself. At least the only other side effects have been a headache and slight nausea. Dr. Douglas had given me some Zofran which has come in handy. I am really happy to take the injections as long as needed for the embryos but I just had to let it all out. They are not fun!
Okay, enough with the POI injections and on to bigger better news. Thursday morning the embryologist called and we found out that the ARTs department was able to freeze one of our sweet little embryos. I had really hoped deep down in my heart that we would be able to freeze one but my head kept telling me not to get upset if we didn't get the opportunity to do so. We are so thankful for that embryo that is frozen and I am so thankful for the embryologists and Dr. Douglas for taking such good care of them.
Kevin has been such a blessing the last couple of day, but he is that way all the time. He has done laundry, dishes, vacuumed and cooked. He has beyond understanding and I am so grateful for this sweet husband. Kevin has also been really protective of me not just physically but emotionally. He hid the cleaning wipes, and if you know me that's big! I have also been blessed by amazing friends and family. After I posted my last blog I was shocked by all the texts, emails and phone calls I received. Friends, coworkers, family and sorority sisters that I don't talk to every day where telling me how much they loved me and they were praying for us. Also, one of Kevin's best friends little girls have been praying for us during all these procedures. When Kevin told me these sweet girls were praying for us it brought tears to my eyes. I also know there are people out there silently praying for us and we feel that love too! Kevin and I are thankful for all of these supportive people in our lives!
People have also told me they are amazed by the images of our embryos. Its so hard to believe that at one point in our life we were that small. To think one small egg gets beaten with sperm until one breaks through and then life begins. At one time I thought it just took one sperm, which in the end it does. But it actually takes those other millions of sperms to breakdown the outer edge of the egg before that one sperm can fertilize it. Its hard to believe that we were that fertilized embryo. I never thought of any of these things until Kevin and I started this journey in the spring of 2010. God is truly an awesome God!
I really don't want to come off as someone who doesn't complain or gripe about issues. I will be there first one to tell you that I am not always that positive. Lately its been easier to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I don't want to be that girl that posts really crappy and grippy blogs complaining about life. I hate that! Hit me in the forehead if I become that girl!
Please continue to pray for these precious embryos. We don't know what's ahead but we are thankful God's in control. And now we continue to wait and pray for a blessing!
Okay, enough with the POI injections and on to bigger better news. Thursday morning the embryologist called and we found out that the ARTs department was able to freeze one of our sweet little embryos. I had really hoped deep down in my heart that we would be able to freeze one but my head kept telling me not to get upset if we didn't get the opportunity to do so. We are so thankful for that embryo that is frozen and I am so thankful for the embryologists and Dr. Douglas for taking such good care of them.
Kevin has been such a blessing the last couple of day, but he is that way all the time. He has done laundry, dishes, vacuumed and cooked. He has beyond understanding and I am so grateful for this sweet husband. Kevin has also been really protective of me not just physically but emotionally. He hid the cleaning wipes, and if you know me that's big! I have also been blessed by amazing friends and family. After I posted my last blog I was shocked by all the texts, emails and phone calls I received. Friends, coworkers, family and sorority sisters that I don't talk to every day where telling me how much they loved me and they were praying for us. Also, one of Kevin's best friends little girls have been praying for us during all these procedures. When Kevin told me these sweet girls were praying for us it brought tears to my eyes. I also know there are people out there silently praying for us and we feel that love too! Kevin and I are thankful for all of these supportive people in our lives!
People have also told me they are amazed by the images of our embryos. Its so hard to believe that at one point in our life we were that small. To think one small egg gets beaten with sperm until one breaks through and then life begins. At one time I thought it just took one sperm, which in the end it does. But it actually takes those other millions of sperms to breakdown the outer edge of the egg before that one sperm can fertilize it. Its hard to believe that we were that fertilized embryo. I never thought of any of these things until Kevin and I started this journey in the spring of 2010. God is truly an awesome God!
I really don't want to come off as someone who doesn't complain or gripe about issues. I will be there first one to tell you that I am not always that positive. Lately its been easier to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I don't want to be that girl that posts really crappy and grippy blogs complaining about life. I hate that! Hit me in the forehead if I become that girl!
Please continue to pray for these precious embryos. We don't know what's ahead but we are thankful God's in control. And now we continue to wait and pray for a blessing!
Jul 20, 2011
Embryo Transfer and Bed Rest
Today was the big day, the embryo transfer. When we got to the ARTs department we were greeted by the same nurses that we met last week. We went back to the same recovery room where we had to sign a few disclosures and change into a gown. Kevin even had to put on blue booties, a hat and face mask. The embryologist that graded our embryos came in to introduce herself and give us a final update. We had two really good blastocysts (one was even classified as an expanded blastocyst) and she recommend us using these two for the transfer. She showed us the picture of these embryos and showed us where the baby is.
Hale Embryos One and Two
Top Picture is of the expanded blastocyst and the bottom is the second blastocyst. You can see the baby in the top embryo on the left hand side, as well as the bottom one but it isn't as clear due to it being smaller. Both of these are about the size of a ballpoint pen tip.
Once we signed off on putting in both embryos it was only a short time before Dr. Douglas came in, he was actually about 30 mins early so we were able to get started early. Off we all went to the transfer room, which was much like the room where my eggs were removed. It was really cold, lots of equipment and a huge light. I was really glad Kevin was able to be with me during this procedure and experience it. They asked me my name and DOB about 10x's, no joke. I have know idea how some labs have mixed up embryos, this place has it down. Once he had me ready to transfer he called for the embryos to come off the incubator and the embryologist brought them in, and when she stopped she read of my name/dob before handing them to Dr. Douglas to transfer. During the transfer they did a sonogram to make sure that they were transferring them into the correct area. Kevin was able to snap a few pictures during the entire thing, below is one of the embryologist bringing in the embryos.
After they had been transferred they take the catheter back to the lab to flush and make sure all embryos came out during the transfer and didn't get stuck. Once they gave us a all clear they moved me back to the bed and laid me back at an angle. It was such an angle I felt like my hair was dragging the ground. Dr. Douglas and the nurse wheeled me back to the recovery room where I had to lay flat for an hour before we could leave. Before leaving they let us know they would call tomorrow and let us know if the two embryos we had left would make it to freeze. It looked positive but they had to wait another 24 hours before they could freeze. It will be 12-24 hours before the transferred embryos implant and they said I could feel a slight pain from that but nothing bad. I am still having some pain from the removal but they said that was normal, after all they removed 26 eggs.
On our way home we grabbed some lunch and then headed home so I could stay on bed rest. Kevin has held me to it, only allowing me to get up to go to the bathroom. I am so thankful for him and his love through this process. I don't know how I could have done it all without him. He has been so great with the progesterone in oil injections at night too. They are by far the worst shots I have had to take. The ointment is thick and takes for ever to inject. I actually sit on a heating pad before the shot so its easier to go in. One of the nurses at my work told me a trick about not holding weight on the leg he is injecting it in. That totally did the trick and last night I had little pain. The first two shots I have knots and bruises from, but overall they help the little embryos implant so we are willing to do whatever we need to!
It will be a couple weeks before we know if it worked. Even then I have a high risk of a chemical pregnancy so we want to be very cautious before telling everyone. We will actually have two blood tests. The first beta will show if I am actually pregnant and the second one will show that my HCG levels have doubled and that is a viable pregnancy. Thank you again for your prayers and please keep them coming!
Also, continue to pray for my mom. She was released from the hospital today and is in a walking cast. She will be out of commission for a few weeks and will need help getting around. Please pray for a quick an easy recovery.
Jul 19, 2011
Growing Embryos
We got good news on Monday about our little embryos. We ended up having 12 fertilize, one fertilized after the 24 hour mark so the lab didn't see it until Monday. They also gave us the grading for each of these 12 embryos. The embryologist felt good about the day 3 grading and that encouraged us. The waiting is the hardest part!
Embryo Grading (26 eggs removed; 12 fertilized)
Tomorrow morning they will grade the embryos one more time before the transfer and then transfer the two best embryos. We are still praying that we will have a couple to freeze so that if this doesn't work we can do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and it doesn't cost near as much.
Tomorrow when we get home I will be on bed rest until noon Thursday which shouldn't be bad. Tomorrow I plan on resting when we get home, we are hoping that it will not be painful but are prepared if it is.Thursday my company is letting me work from home so I plan to lay down as much as possible while working.
Kevin and I are really excited about this phase. He is planning on taking lots of pictures of these two little embryos when we see them tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers and love! We have been overwhelmed by the love that is coming from family and friends. We are so thankful for this love and support!
Embryo Grading (26 eggs removed; 12 fertilized)
- 2 Excellent
- 5 Good
- 2 Average
- 1 Poor
- 2 Very Poor
Tomorrow morning they will grade the embryos one more time before the transfer and then transfer the two best embryos. We are still praying that we will have a couple to freeze so that if this doesn't work we can do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and it doesn't cost near as much.
Tomorrow when we get home I will be on bed rest until noon Thursday which shouldn't be bad. Tomorrow I plan on resting when we get home, we are hoping that it will not be painful but are prepared if it is.Thursday my company is letting me work from home so I plan to lay down as much as possible while working.
Kevin and I are really excited about this phase. He is planning on taking lots of pictures of these two little embryos when we see them tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers and love! We have been overwhelmed by the love that is coming from family and friends. We are so thankful for this love and support!
Jul 16, 2011
The Retrieval: Day 0 and Day 1
The night before the retrieval neither of us were able to sleep. We were both nervous about what was going to take place and how many eggs they would be able to retrieve. When we arrived at 6:00 am we were met by the nursing staff and told I was the only patient of the day so I had the entire team to myself. I had the most wonderful nurse who was so kind when setting up my IV. I had prayed that it would be easy, and it was. She even gave me something for my reflux and that calmed me down as well.
The Anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and I told him that I sometimes get nauseous with the meds. He assured me that I wouldn't and he would give me something that would make me feel better. Dr. Douglas came in and shook both our hands and lead us through the process one more time. With tears in my eyes they wheeled me to the OR. It looked just like what you would expect and OR to look like. Lots of machines, lights, freezing temperatures, ect. I moved over to the table and they started hooking me up to many different monitors. My fear seemed to get worse but the nurse stood with me and held my hand. That was the last thing I remembered. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room with Kevin. The doctor came back in and told us they got 20+ eggs but we would get an accurate count in a minute. He told me I would be in some pain later on so he gave me a script for meds and something for nausea. Kevin said I had a long conversation with him and used the word fabulous but I remember nothing. Kevin thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and continued to use the word fabulous all day.
The director of the ARTs department came in to introduce himself and gave us a final count of 26 eggs. I was shocked. We didn't think we would have this many at all, but they told us that more than likely most wouldn't fertilize because they were not mature. But they still felt I had a good number that was mature and were confident with the results. I was able to really wake up at this point and drink lots of fluid. The nurse gave me another bag of fluids in my IV to help prevent issues with overstimulating. I was able to eat a couple of graham crackers and go to the restroom which meant I was able to go home. We were both truly impressed with the team at the ARTs department, which made the procedure and time there easy. The worst part of the experience was the fear I had before it started. I hope we never have to do this again but if we do I know I could handle it!
Kevin and I came home after picking up some breakfast and fell fast asleep. We slept most of the day and laid around watching movies. We were both able to breath easier knowing that all had gone well. Kevin also got a surprise that afternoon . He had ordered a telescope, yes that's right a telescope. This hunter and fisherman I married also has a small portion of geek in him. He was able to set it up and fiddle with it while I rested yesterday. He was so sweet to me making sure I wasn't in pain and getting whatever I needed so I didn't have to get up. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and friend in my life.
This morning (day one) the embryologist called and said that out of the 26 eggs retrieved that only 11 have fertilized. She told me this was great, many people only have a handful fertilize. She said we are looking at a five day transfer which would be Wednesday. They will call us on Monday (day three) and let us know how things are looking with the embryos, if for some reason a majority of them die between now and then we will likely do a transfer at Monday but she felt with my age we shouldn't have that problem. They will also start grading the embryos to let us know which are the most viable ones to put back. Because of my age our doctor will only put two in at the time of transfer. Because of issues with multiples it is best to put in as few as possible.
Overall we had a good experience with the retrieval, even with the foot long needle (which I luckily never had to see). I have been in some pretty rough pain but it seems to be going away for now with a couple Tylenol and Advil. Please remember these embryos in your prayers. Please pray that we will have enough to put two in and freeze two (and that they will be the best quality needed). We are really excited about the transfer and looking forward to seeing pictures of these embryos. Not many people get to see their children at such a young phase! Please pray my body will heal and except these embryos.
Tomorrow night we begin our progesterone in oil injections. Kevin has to give me these and they are pretty painful from what I hear. I think he is actually excited about giving them to me since he didn't get to do any of the other injections before. Hoping that he will do such a good job it won't hurt at all!
Note: I am sure this post has tons of misspelled words, crazy sentence structure, or may not make any sense at all. I'm still on pain meds so luckily I don't really seem to care!
The Anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and I told him that I sometimes get nauseous with the meds. He assured me that I wouldn't and he would give me something that would make me feel better. Dr. Douglas came in and shook both our hands and lead us through the process one more time. With tears in my eyes they wheeled me to the OR. It looked just like what you would expect and OR to look like. Lots of machines, lights, freezing temperatures, ect. I moved over to the table and they started hooking me up to many different monitors. My fear seemed to get worse but the nurse stood with me and held my hand. That was the last thing I remembered. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room with Kevin. The doctor came back in and told us they got 20+ eggs but we would get an accurate count in a minute. He told me I would be in some pain later on so he gave me a script for meds and something for nausea. Kevin said I had a long conversation with him and used the word fabulous but I remember nothing. Kevin thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and continued to use the word fabulous all day.
The director of the ARTs department came in to introduce himself and gave us a final count of 26 eggs. I was shocked. We didn't think we would have this many at all, but they told us that more than likely most wouldn't fertilize because they were not mature. But they still felt I had a good number that was mature and were confident with the results. I was able to really wake up at this point and drink lots of fluid. The nurse gave me another bag of fluids in my IV to help prevent issues with overstimulating. I was able to eat a couple of graham crackers and go to the restroom which meant I was able to go home. We were both truly impressed with the team at the ARTs department, which made the procedure and time there easy. The worst part of the experience was the fear I had before it started. I hope we never have to do this again but if we do I know I could handle it!
Kevin and I came home after picking up some breakfast and fell fast asleep. We slept most of the day and laid around watching movies. We were both able to breath easier knowing that all had gone well. Kevin also got a surprise that afternoon . He had ordered a telescope, yes that's right a telescope. This hunter and fisherman I married also has a small portion of geek in him. He was able to set it up and fiddle with it while I rested yesterday. He was so sweet to me making sure I wasn't in pain and getting whatever I needed so I didn't have to get up. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and friend in my life.
This morning (day one) the embryologist called and said that out of the 26 eggs retrieved that only 11 have fertilized. She told me this was great, many people only have a handful fertilize. She said we are looking at a five day transfer which would be Wednesday. They will call us on Monday (day three) and let us know how things are looking with the embryos, if for some reason a majority of them die between now and then we will likely do a transfer at Monday but she felt with my age we shouldn't have that problem. They will also start grading the embryos to let us know which are the most viable ones to put back. Because of my age our doctor will only put two in at the time of transfer. Because of issues with multiples it is best to put in as few as possible.
Overall we had a good experience with the retrieval, even with the foot long needle (which I luckily never had to see). I have been in some pretty rough pain but it seems to be going away for now with a couple Tylenol and Advil. Please remember these embryos in your prayers. Please pray that we will have enough to put two in and freeze two (and that they will be the best quality needed). We are really excited about the transfer and looking forward to seeing pictures of these embryos. Not many people get to see their children at such a young phase! Please pray my body will heal and except these embryos.
Tomorrow night we begin our progesterone in oil injections. Kevin has to give me these and they are pretty painful from what I hear. I think he is actually excited about giving them to me since he didn't get to do any of the other injections before. Hoping that he will do such a good job it won't hurt at all!
Note: I am sure this post has tons of misspelled words, crazy sentence structure, or may not make any sense at all. I'm still on pain meds so luckily I don't really seem to care!
Jul 14, 2011
The Day Before the Retrieval.....
Tomorrow morning is the big egg retrieval. We are both a little nervous but overall really excited to see how many eggs are retrieved and will fertilize. We have to be there at 6:30 am, which means we will have to leave around 5:30 but the good thing about that there will be no traffic. When we had our last sonogram on Wednesday they were able to count 15 mature eggs and several that were close to being large enough to be mature. When the procedure is over tomorrow we will have a full count of how many they took and then on Saturday they embryologist will call and let us know how many fertilize.
Please pray for these things:
Please pray for these things:
- That God will take all of my fear away (during the IV and procedure)
- That we will have 15-25 eggs removed and that 90% will fertilize
- That the embryos that fertilize will grow/divide and that we will have enough for the ET and to freeze
- That I will have minimal pain tomorrow after the procedure
Jul 8, 2011
Follistem, Menopur and Ganirelix....
The last week has a been a whirlwind to the Hale family. We are so thankful to report that Pierson's surgery went very well. They were able to fix the issue with his heart and he is recovering very quickly. Last I heard he might even be able to go home tomorrow. Lots of prayers needed still as this precious little boy recovers.
I began my nightly injection routine on Sunday of Follistem and Menopur. The side effects haven't been unbearable but noticeable. It has made me really sleepy and a little nauseous but nothing I can't push through. I am so thankful that these side effects haven't been more severe. Yesterday we had our first follow up sonogram and blood work to see how the medication is working. We had a great report of 20 follicles on each ovary with the follicles measuring around a 9. The Radiologist told us that each follicle grows about 2 mm per day and they classify them as mature when they are between 18-20 (which we already knew, this ain't our first rodeo). The prayer is that all of these follicles will grow at the same speed so that Dr. Douglas can remove all mature follicles.
The radiologist was very please with the follicles he saw which made me very happy. I was pretty nervous that they would only find a few so my legs were shaking the entire time. I told the Radiologist I was sorry but I was just a little nervous. Once we jumped that hurdle it was time to have my blood taken. All my levels ended up being great so we were able to keep my medication dosage the same.
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Tomorrow we go for a follow up sonogram to check the follicle sizes and find out if we can begin the 3rd nightly medication, Ganirelix. After that appointment we will go back on Monday and Tuesday to determine when the egg retrieval will be. They way it looks now it will either be on Thursday or Friday of next week. We will not know the date of the transfer until the embryos begin to grow and divide, which is so hard for me since I have to plan everything. God is definitely teaching me a lesson on patience.
Earlier this week I received a book from my company, Heaven is for Real. I truly work for the best company, I can't even tell you how blessed I have been by FMS. Every year we are sent a new book around Fourth of July as a fun gift. I started reading the book and couldn't put it down. Basically, the story is about a little boy who became really sick and almost dies. During this surgery he visits heaven, although his family only begins to find out the details of his trip later on.
Growing up a christian I was taught about heaven and Gods love but this book really made me think. One of the things that this little boy Colton came back from heaven was God's love for children. I can't tell you how many times as a I child I sang "Jesus loves the little children", more times than I can remember. While in heaven the little boy met his sister who had died at 6 weeks during a miscarriage. She knew him and loved him even though they had never met. I never in my mind doubted that unborn children are in heaven. It made me think even deeper because of all the things Kevin and I are going through as well.
Many people argue that life doesn't begin until there is a heartbeat, but I don't agree. I can't wait to see how many of our eggs fertilize, and I believe that everyone of those embryos are our children. I know that not all of them will make it to transfer and some will not make it to freeze but we will one day meet these precious children in heaven. I have faith that the will be with Jesus until we get there and will be surrounded by Kevin and my family who are already in heaven.
God touched my heart when reading Colton's story and it gave me a greater peace that God is truly in control and loves us unconditionally. God has a purpose and a reason for Kevin and I going through this struggle to conceive and he has made our walk closer with him. We are both excited, scared, nervous and anxious about next week but I am thankful our heavenly father is in control.
I began my nightly injection routine on Sunday of Follistem and Menopur. The side effects haven't been unbearable but noticeable. It has made me really sleepy and a little nauseous but nothing I can't push through. I am so thankful that these side effects haven't been more severe. Yesterday we had our first follow up sonogram and blood work to see how the medication is working. We had a great report of 20 follicles on each ovary with the follicles measuring around a 9. The Radiologist told us that each follicle grows about 2 mm per day and they classify them as mature when they are between 18-20 (which we already knew, this ain't our first rodeo). The prayer is that all of these follicles will grow at the same speed so that Dr. Douglas can remove all mature follicles.
The radiologist was very please with the follicles he saw which made me very happy. I was pretty nervous that they would only find a few so my legs were shaking the entire time. I told the Radiologist I was sorry but I was just a little nervous. Once we jumped that hurdle it was time to have my blood taken. All my levels ended up being great so we were able to keep my medication dosage the same.
Here is what tonight's medication looked like.
Tomorrow we go for a follow up sonogram to check the follicle sizes and find out if we can begin the 3rd nightly medication, Ganirelix. After that appointment we will go back on Monday and Tuesday to determine when the egg retrieval will be. They way it looks now it will either be on Thursday or Friday of next week. We will not know the date of the transfer until the embryos begin to grow and divide, which is so hard for me since I have to plan everything. God is definitely teaching me a lesson on patience.
Earlier this week I received a book from my company, Heaven is for Real. I truly work for the best company, I can't even tell you how blessed I have been by FMS. Every year we are sent a new book around Fourth of July as a fun gift. I started reading the book and couldn't put it down. Basically, the story is about a little boy who became really sick and almost dies. During this surgery he visits heaven, although his family only begins to find out the details of his trip later on.
Growing up a christian I was taught about heaven and Gods love but this book really made me think. One of the things that this little boy Colton came back from heaven was God's love for children. I can't tell you how many times as a I child I sang "Jesus loves the little children", more times than I can remember. While in heaven the little boy met his sister who had died at 6 weeks during a miscarriage. She knew him and loved him even though they had never met. I never in my mind doubted that unborn children are in heaven. It made me think even deeper because of all the things Kevin and I are going through as well.
Many people argue that life doesn't begin until there is a heartbeat, but I don't agree. I can't wait to see how many of our eggs fertilize, and I believe that everyone of those embryos are our children. I know that not all of them will make it to transfer and some will not make it to freeze but we will one day meet these precious children in heaven. I have faith that the will be with Jesus until we get there and will be surrounded by Kevin and my family who are already in heaven.
God touched my heart when reading Colton's story and it gave me a greater peace that God is truly in control and loves us unconditionally. God has a purpose and a reason for Kevin and I going through this struggle to conceive and he has made our walk closer with him. We are both excited, scared, nervous and anxious about next week but I am thankful our heavenly father is in control.
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