It’s been a while since I have updated our blog. Most of you know that Kevin and I had our only frozen embryo transferred at the beginning of November and found out on our anniversary that it was not successful. We were both pretty emotional about it not being successful but know God does have a plan for us getting pregnant. I was overwhelmed by the calls, texts, emails and prayers sent up that day. We for sure felt everyone of those prayers, that is what got us through.
The hardest thing for me has been the money. All along the doctor told us that he can get us pregnant it just might take us a couple of times of IVF to get it to work. We have truly struggled with paying for what we just completed and we will be paying for it the next three years and I was overwhelmed trying to figure out to pay for it again. But in the end I know God has a way for us and he will provide every dime we need to do IVF again. God truly knows what we need and provides. I have complete faith that he will make a way for us to do IVF again next summer and I can’t wait to see how God is going to work through our lives to provide that.
We are going to take a few months off in between IVF to not only find a financial plan for IVF but to also take a break. It’s been so wonderful not to have to take medications, go to the doctor 2-3 times a week and really relax during the holidays. We are going to start acupuncture in January to see if that helps and will continue that up until we do our next round of IVF. I will also start gulcaphage again in January on a reduced dosage to help regulate my insulin levels. We are hoping this helps our IVF cycle as well.
We are truly living on our faith in the Lord and know his plan is more perfect than the dreams we had of how our life would be. 2011 has been a struggle for many and our prayer is that 2012 will provide blessings for all! Thank you for praying for Kevin and I during this journey. We pray that each of you have a safe and blessed Christmas. Remember that Christmas is truly celebrating the birth of our Savior!
Dec 20, 2011
Oct 24, 2011
Whose Plan Is It Anyway?
It’s been a while since I have written an update and I had several people ask how things were going with the frozen embryo transfer. So, I figured I would update the blog so everyone knew what we had coming up.
We have had a couple of date changes on the transfer due to my lining not being thick enough. The original date for the transfer was October 25th (tomorrow) but the new date is now November 8th. At our appointment last week our lining was measuring at a 4, and today we measured a 6.5 which is a great improvement. Our goal is to be an 8+ so we should have plenty of time to get there before the transfer. I did have another follicle that was showing up on my ovary but at the appointment today they told us it shouldn’t be a problem. I haven’t been able to grow a follicle on my own for 2 years but now that we don’t want any to grow, go figure I have one growing. We have another appointment on Friday to check the lining again and other than that we are just continuing the medications.
We have kept really busy spending our weekends at the deer lease, which has been a blessing. I love seeing how Gods plans come together and our deer lease has been just that. The owner of our deer lease has a campsite, and anyone that leases from him can bring their camper or have one of the cabins to stay in. I was so worried that it was going to be a bunch of guys who weren’t too fond of a woman invading on their territory, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. We have had the opportunity to meet and become friends with a wonderful couple. I couldn’t have asked for a better couple to spend our weekends with.
We also had an opportunity to have dinner with the land owner, his sweet girlfriend and our friends this weekend. I forgot I was with people that I have only known a few weeks, they feel more like family. As we were driving home last night from the lease Kevin and I talked about how perfect Gods plan was for us this season, we just had to let him show us his plan. I know he has a plan for us as parents too, we just have to give him the opportunity to show us that plan. We can make all the plans we want to but God’s plan is best. It may not be our timing but his timing is perfect.
Please continue to pray for us and we prepare for the FET on the 8th. Please pray that our embryo will be strong and that my lining will become thick. Thank you for caring about us and our lives!
Kevin and I dove hunting September 2011
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Oct 5, 2011
Are we there yet?
Yesterday Kevin and I had our check up to see how the medications are working. Things are going just as they should and I started my second medication today and changed my dosage on the injection. We won't have to go back until the 18th when we have a sonogram to check my lining. That should be our final appointment until the transfer. I asked the nurse how often embryos do not make the thaw and she told me that in the four years she has worked there it has only happened twice. She also said we had a great quality blastocyst which makes a big difference. This gave Kevin and I much more hope but it is still so scary to go through all the motions for 6 weeks and then find out at the last hour that your embryo didn't make it. God is bigger than all of this and he will be there as that embryo thaws. His plan is better than ours and we have faith in him! Please continue to pray for Kevin and I as we prepare for the embryo transfer. We are thankful that God is in control and covers us in his love!
We have been spending our weekends on the road to the deer lease and loving every minute of it. We have gotten to know the 2 hour plus trip and small towns in between pretty well. Last weekend we helped the owner set up some of his feeders and blinds. We really enjoyed getting to know him better and the area. We also met another couple that is leasing from him too and they were so nice! Below are a couple of pictures from this past weekend. We have already had some major adventures and memories that we will always remember.
We have been spending our weekends on the road to the deer lease and loving every minute of it. We have gotten to know the 2 hour plus trip and small towns in between pretty well. Last weekend we helped the owner set up some of his feeders and blinds. We really enjoyed getting to know him better and the area. We also met another couple that is leasing from him too and they were so nice! Below are a couple of pictures from this past weekend. We have already had some major adventures and memories that we will always remember.
The owner asked if we could pick him up some deer corn on our way. We should have taken the truck that day!
This is the sunset as we were putting up the last feeder on Sunday.
Sep 26, 2011
A Hale of an Adventure
It’s been a while since the last update on our frozen embryo transfer so I wanted to share what we have going on. We had a huge blessing when we went to pay for our medications for the FET. My insurance actually picked up two of the three meds so our bill wasn’t as much as we had prepared for, which is always a blessing. I started my injections on Saturday and so far things are going great with those. We go back to Dr. Douglas on the 4th for a round of blood work and we should only have a few follow up appointments before the transfer. The FET is much more relaxed than IVF and I hope that really makes a difference. Our FET is going to be on Tuesday, October 25th. I will have a couple days of bed rest after the transfer and after that life will be back to normal until we find out if the FET was successful.
Hunting has been such a huge relief from the stresses that come with fertility treatments and has been a great distraction during this round of treatment. I love that we can share a hobby which allows us to spend time together, and I am thankful that Kevin introduced me to hunting. We went to look at a place in west Texas
We made a couple of trips out there this weekend and we are getting to know the area a little better and finding out where all the important stops are, like the local Sonic. We are really excited about this new hunting adventure and I can't wait to share more in the weeks to come.
We have many blessings to be thankful for in 2011 and we hope that there will be many more blessings to come this year. Please continue to pray for Kevin and I as we prepare for our FET. Pray that our frozen embryo will survive the thaw and attach during the transfer. I pray that each person that reads are blog is blessed during the weeks to come. We are so thankful for the love and support we have received from each of you!
Sep 2, 2011
Here We Go!
Yesterday Kevin and I went down to Plano for my first blood work in preparation for the frozen embryo transfer. I have no idea what the numbers scientifically meant but we know two things for sure. First off were not pregnant, clearly not a news flash. Secondly, I have to take Provera for 5 days in order to start. Once I start I will take birth control pills for 2 weeks and start my injections on day 15. We won’t have to go in for an appointment for 4 weeks which is hard to believe. With the IVF cycle we were there almost every other day. Basically, that’s all I know right now. We will get more instructions on the medications once I start and they order them for me. We are both pretty excited about this cycle and I really feel like this is going to work! The metformin is still working great and I am really starting to see changes!
I am so excited that it’s finally September! I think everyone in Texas is happily welcoming fall and is hopeful of cooler days to come! Kevin set up our deer feeder last weekend and we are going to set the blind up this weekend! We really want to go dove hunting and practice shooting our bows if it’s not too hot. This heat is really interfering with our outdoors activities! I am also going to try and twist Kevin’s arm to take me to H&M at Northpark this weekend! But I’m not going to hold my breath.
Please continue to pray for that sweet little embryo that is frozen and that it can survive the thaw. We are looking at a transfer in late October around Kevin’s birthday. October is full of loved ones birthdays so this would add one more blessing to the list! Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!
I am so excited that it’s finally September! I think everyone in Texas is happily welcoming fall and is hopeful of cooler days to come! Kevin set up our deer feeder last weekend and we are going to set the blind up this weekend! We really want to go dove hunting and practice shooting our bows if it’s not too hot. This heat is really interfering with our outdoors activities! I am also going to try and twist Kevin’s arm to take me to H&M at Northpark this weekend! But I’m not going to hold my breath.
Please continue to pray for that sweet little embryo that is frozen and that it can survive the thaw. We are looking at a transfer in late October around Kevin’s birthday. October is full of loved ones birthdays so this would add one more blessing to the list! Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!
Aug 23, 2011
ThingsThat Make Us Happy!
Kevin and I are still enjoying our vacation from the fertility appointments and procedures. We are still planning on the frozen embryo transfer when I start my cycle in September. This break has been so needed! I forgot what it was like not to count days and track medicine. So far the Metformin has been a good fit for me. I feel like I have finally adjusted and I am hoping to see more signs that its working for me soon.
This past weekend Kevin and I got a few things ready for deer hunting in October. We were able to find me a new pair of snake hunting boots, which I love. Who knew a pair of hunting boots would ever make me happy but they did. They are so much more comfortable than the boots I had last year and they will make the mile walk back to the blind a lot better. Added bonus I don't have to worry about snakes! We also were able to get me a case for my bow, deer corn and our hunting licences for this year. Other than putting up our blind and feeder we are pretty much set. We took some time this weekend to practice shooting and we had so much fun. Did I say I was ready for fall yet, good grief how much longer can this hot summer last!
I have had a lot of people tell me or email me about my blog lately and I have found many of them have PCOS or infertility. It really makes me wonder if something with my generation has affected our bodies and caused infertility. Or has fertility been around but not talked about. I am really thankful that this blog has been a out reach to others. My prayer is that out of our struggle with infertility I can support and comfort someone else going through it. I also hope that it gives others not going through infertility a understanding of the struggle and the ability to comfort someone who is.
Please continue to pray for our frozen embryo and our upcoming transfer! We are so thankful for your prayers and support, they are truly felt!
This past weekend Kevin and I got a few things ready for deer hunting in October. We were able to find me a new pair of snake hunting boots, which I love. Who knew a pair of hunting boots would ever make me happy but they did. They are so much more comfortable than the boots I had last year and they will make the mile walk back to the blind a lot better. Added bonus I don't have to worry about snakes! We also were able to get me a case for my bow, deer corn and our hunting licences for this year. Other than putting up our blind and feeder we are pretty much set. We took some time this weekend to practice shooting and we had so much fun. Did I say I was ready for fall yet, good grief how much longer can this hot summer last!
New hunting boots!
I have had a lot of people tell me or email me about my blog lately and I have found many of them have PCOS or infertility. It really makes me wonder if something with my generation has affected our bodies and caused infertility. Or has fertility been around but not talked about. I am really thankful that this blog has been a out reach to others. My prayer is that out of our struggle with infertility I can support and comfort someone else going through it. I also hope that it gives others not going through infertility a understanding of the struggle and the ability to comfort someone who is.
Please continue to pray for our frozen embryo and our upcoming transfer! We are so thankful for your prayers and support, they are truly felt!
Aug 10, 2011
A New Season...
We have been enjoying the much needed break from doctors offices, injections and counting down days until procedures. So far metformin has been the only new thing I have had to worry with and so far its hasn't been bad. Friday I take my first full dose and I am hoping by Monday I will be fully adjusted to it. Even thought I was almost dreading this break from trying procedures it has really brought more strength and faith for our upcoming FET. We have truly given all our worries to God and we know he will provide a way, and that has been the biggest blessing to us.
Its hard to believe its almost September, which marks the beginning of one of my favorite seasons. Fall has always been my most favorite time of year. I love the clothes, weather, pumpkins and everything that has to do with fall. Last fall Kevin introduced me to bow hunting, which I actually really enjoyed. I passed on a great shot thinking something bigger would come along but I never had a shot like that again all season. I loved spending time in the blind with Kevin just being still and enjoying watching the deer and other animals that passed us by (as long as it wasn't a snake).
We started talking last weekend how its almost time to start putting our blinds up again and that really made me think about seasons. There is a season in our life for everything and those season make us look forward to the next. Infertility is just a season in our lives and when it passes we will move on to a new and joyous season. Without the grief and pain we have felt we couldn't truly appreciate the next season of our life.
Our prayer is that God will provide our little frozen embryo the strength it needs to survive and attach during the transfer in September. I believe that with God all things are possible and I am so thankful for his grace. As fall approaches I thank God for a new season and re-newed hope!
Psalm 46:10- "Be still, and know that I am God.."
Its hard to believe its almost September, which marks the beginning of one of my favorite seasons. Fall has always been my most favorite time of year. I love the clothes, weather, pumpkins and everything that has to do with fall. Last fall Kevin introduced me to bow hunting, which I actually really enjoyed. I passed on a great shot thinking something bigger would come along but I never had a shot like that again all season. I loved spending time in the blind with Kevin just being still and enjoying watching the deer and other animals that passed us by (as long as it wasn't a snake).
We started talking last weekend how its almost time to start putting our blinds up again and that really made me think about seasons. There is a season in our life for everything and those season make us look forward to the next. Infertility is just a season in our lives and when it passes we will move on to a new and joyous season. Without the grief and pain we have felt we couldn't truly appreciate the next season of our life.
Kevin and I opening day in 2010
Our prayer is that God will provide our little frozen embryo the strength it needs to survive and attach during the transfer in September. I believe that with God all things are possible and I am so thankful for his grace. As fall approaches I thank God for a new season and re-newed hope!
Psalm 46:10- "Be still, and know that I am God.."
Aug 6, 2011
Follow Up and Metformin
Yesterday Kevin and I had our follow up appointment with Dr. Douglas. I am so thankful that we didn't wait and went ahead and had this appointment. There are a couple possible reasons that the IVF wasn't successful. Either the embryo stopped growing or the embryos moved from the uterus so it wasn't able to attach. Because the embryos are microscopic they have no way of knowing exactly what happened. I loved how Dr. Douglas spent about 45 minutes going through our entire cycle and went over each embryo. He was frustrated that he wasn't able to tell us why it didn't work, but he said this happens to 1 out of 3 couples. He did say we were very lucky to have wonderful quality of embryos and eggs produced. He is confident that he can get us pregnant and that was all I really wanted to hear. I know he has seen thousands of women with issues, so his medical opinion really means a lot to us. We also talked about the frozen embryo transfer and he gave us encouraging news. We are going to start the process for the frozen embryo transfer when I start my next cycle which should be the first of September. This will be a lot less painful and hard on my body, which can also lead to success. We are already praying for that frozen baby, that it will survive and attach when it is thawed. Around 10% of embryos perish during the thawing stage, but since our embryo is a good quality we are praying it will be strong enough to survive.
After visiting with the doctor I feel so much more reassured that we are on the right path. He is such an amazing doctor and really spent the time with us answering any questions we had. He also didn't charge us a dime for the visit. We also love his nursing staff! Both of his wonderful nurses were so kind to us yesterday and really care about their patients. One of them even was going to hold back some medicine for us if we were doing another round of IVF. We have been so blessed with this doctor and his office and I am so thankful for all they have done for us.
Today is my first full day of a 1000 mg of Metformin. I have been on 500 mg for 5 days and can tell a difference in my body. I have slept better than I have in years, and that's saying something. I have only had a couple times that I felt sick, and I'm hoping it stays that way. I will stay on 1000 mg until Friday and then will bump it up to 1500 mg. Dr. Douglas said that Metformin has been linked to reduced miscarriages in PCOS patients and will also increase the quality of my eggs if we do another round of IVF again. I am glad I decided to start it and I pray that it will make a great environment for the frozen embryo to survive.
We are so thankful for the frozen embryo we have and ask that you continue to pray for it as we prepare for the transfer in the next couple of months. We are thankful for all the blessing God has given us and we are excited to see what plans he has made for us ahead!
After visiting with the doctor I feel so much more reassured that we are on the right path. He is such an amazing doctor and really spent the time with us answering any questions we had. He also didn't charge us a dime for the visit. We also love his nursing staff! Both of his wonderful nurses were so kind to us yesterday and really care about their patients. One of them even was going to hold back some medicine for us if we were doing another round of IVF. We have been so blessed with this doctor and his office and I am so thankful for all they have done for us.
Today is my first full day of a 1000 mg of Metformin. I have been on 500 mg for 5 days and can tell a difference in my body. I have slept better than I have in years, and that's saying something. I have only had a couple times that I felt sick, and I'm hoping it stays that way. I will stay on 1000 mg until Friday and then will bump it up to 1500 mg. Dr. Douglas said that Metformin has been linked to reduced miscarriages in PCOS patients and will also increase the quality of my eggs if we do another round of IVF again. I am glad I decided to start it and I pray that it will make a great environment for the frozen embryo to survive.
We are so thankful for the frozen embryo we have and ask that you continue to pray for it as we prepare for the transfer in the next couple of months. We are thankful for all the blessing God has given us and we are excited to see what plans he has made for us ahead!
Aug 4, 2011
Giving it to God....
The last week has been a continuous battle of emotions. I am overwhelmed by the love and prayers we have been blessed with from family and friends during this past week. Kevin has been a great strength to me during my dark days and I am thankful for his love. I have really been struggling with the “what are we doing next and how are we doing it”. This morning on my way to work I heard a wonderful sermon by Charles Stanley on faith. He talked about how God tests our faith and uses that as pruning. Just like you prune a tree or a bush so that its branches remain firm and its produces better fruit, God prunes us so that our faith grows stronger and deeper. God wants us to come to a place where we can admit, no I can’t do it on my own and I give it all over to you. We can keep trying to fix the problem, but only God has true control and power over these situations. This hit me really hard, I can’t fix our infertility! As much as I don’t want to admit it I kept asking myself, what did I do to deserve infertility, why me? But I already know the answer. God’s purpose for infertility in my life was to bring me closer to him and shape that relationship. I have no doubt in my mind that my relationship with the Lord is closer than it has ever been. My faith in him has never been greater. God is in control of our infertility and has to the power to help us get pregnant. I have no doubt in my mind that he has placed Dr. Douglas and his staff in our lives. I know he uses them as a tool but he alone has the power to control my infertility. Once I admitted this to myself and shed a few tears I truly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I know that God sent that message specifically for me this morning and I’m so thankful for his unconditional love.
Tomorrow we meet with Dr. Douglas to talk about the failed IVF and our FET. I have complete peace about this appointment. How can I fear when God is in control of our infertility? Tomorrow I will have been on Metformin (500 mg) for a 5th day. So far I haven’t had a lot of side effects. Today was one of the first days I got sick from it but I also think the new high fiber diet had something to do with it as well. Saturday morning I start taking 1000 mg and I am praying that the lack of side effects will continue. I am thankful that I will start this over the weekend so I will have a couple days to let my body adjust at home.
Thank you for your continued prayers for Kevin and I. We have been blessed with an amazing support system and we are truly thankful for every one of those prayers. I pray that our infertility story will bring faith into your life and that you will be blessed by God’s pruning!
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20 (NIV)
Matthew 17:20 (NIV)
Aug 1, 2011
Loss and Fear
The last four days have been pretty hard for both Kevin and I. I thought I was really done with grieving the loss we experienced with our first IVF not being successful but today I realized I hadn't. I told myself I wasn't going to cry at work but within the first 30 minutes as people came to give me hugs and kind words I just lost it. I can't even explain what it feels like other than a death, except there isn't a funeral or memorial service. Its just Kevin and I coping and moving forward. Its a loss that I never expected to effect me the way it has, and I know in my heart I can never forget the pain I have. Nothing or no one can take it away, I just know it will get easier on with time. I know once we are blessed with a child it will make my love for that baby even deeper.I have really been focused on that next step and I think many don't understand why. Basically, that's the only thing I feel like I can do to move forward and stop grieving. We have been trying for so long we haven't had a break so it feels odd and hopeless to really take time off without having an action plan. Kevin and I have also been searching financially for a solution to fund another round of IVF if the FET fails. There are no grants that we could qualify for, so we will basically be responsible for that amount out of pocket. This basically has me terrified! I already feel like my body keeps telling me no, you can't have a baby. Now we have a solution and in order to move forward we have to have the money to finance it. I'm not going to let money detour me from having a baby either. I hate being afraid about what is ahead but its something thats hard to kick. I know God is incontrol but I still can't kick this fear.
I spoke to the doctors office today to confirm my appointment for Friday. I was able to speak to the office manager and the amount for the FET is less than we expected. Its still quite a bit of money but much better than the IVF. We still have complete faith that God will bless us with that embryo during the FET but I still want to be prepared with what he wants me to do next.
I also was able to do a little research over the weekend on metformin xr (aka glucophage) and found lots of positive results. That has me excited and nervous at the same time. I am praying that I won't have any bad side effects and that I will be able to transition to the recommended dosage as prescribed. It will take around 6 weeks to notice a difference but I hope I'm able to see a positive one. Friday when we go to the doctor we will talk about the failed IVF and what to expect with the FET. I am really hoping this can bring me closure and prepare me for whats ahead. We are also going to get his advice on how long we should wait before doing the FET.
We both still have faith that God will give us a baby. We know his plan far exceeds our plan and we are thankful for that. Right now we pray for our fears to be removed and for God to provide for us a way to financially support this infertility journey. We are thankful for your continued prayers and support.
Isaiah 41:10So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I spoke to the doctors office today to confirm my appointment for Friday. I was able to speak to the office manager and the amount for the FET is less than we expected. Its still quite a bit of money but much better than the IVF. We still have complete faith that God will bless us with that embryo during the FET but I still want to be prepared with what he wants me to do next.
I also was able to do a little research over the weekend on metformin xr (aka glucophage) and found lots of positive results. That has me excited and nervous at the same time. I am praying that I won't have any bad side effects and that I will be able to transition to the recommended dosage as prescribed. It will take around 6 weeks to notice a difference but I hope I'm able to see a positive one. Friday when we go to the doctor we will talk about the failed IVF and what to expect with the FET. I am really hoping this can bring me closure and prepare me for whats ahead. We are also going to get his advice on how long we should wait before doing the FET.
We both still have faith that God will give us a baby. We know his plan far exceeds our plan and we are thankful for that. Right now we pray for our fears to be removed and for God to provide for us a way to financially support this infertility journey. We are thankful for your continued prayers and support.
Isaiah 41:10So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Jul 29, 2011
Never Ever Give Up!
Today has been one of the most emotional days of our lives. Our beta results came back negative at a one. I had already taken a pregnancy test on Thursday morning and felt pretty confident that it didn't work but I still held out hope. My doctors office said it was fairly common for women to have a negative HPT and a positive blood test. That just wasn't the case for us. Our plan now is to take a couple of months off and start my body off on glucophage which can help with many of the PCOS side effect. Then our next step will be to do a frozen embryo transfer (FET) once my body has adjusted. We have an appointment next Friday to discuss this failed cycle and what the FET process will be like. I am a little nervous about starting glucophage because of the potential side effects but will continue to push through.
Earlier this month we had an answered prayer which will allow us to fund the FET. Kevin and I bought a piece of property up in Sanger back in 2008 where we thought we would build a home some day. Last year we decided that's not where we wanted to live and we decided to put it on the market. Selling the land gave us a small amount back which will hopefully be right around the cost of the FET. God truly does provide for us when we trust and follow him, and we will continue to do just that. I know God will provide a way for us to continue the treatments even if we end up having to do IVF again. I will do whatever it takes and I won't give up just as God hasn't given up on his children.
Kevin and I talked today about our journey to each other and how God had a plan for us before we ever knew it. We know God has plan for us as parents as well and that journey might just take a little longer than we expected or desired. I never realized that I could love Kevin more with every passing day but I do. This journey has made us even closer and I am so thankful for my true love.
The emails, calls, flowers and prayers today have helped more than you will ever know. We truly have the greatest friends and family anyone could ever ask for. Our parents have been a great strength to us as well and we appreciate their love and support. I have a dear friend who has been in my exact shoes today and her words meant more than she will ever know. I know God put her specifically in my life for this exact day and I am so thankful for her friendship and encouragement.
We know God has a specific plan for us and we will continue to follow his guidance for our lives. We will live on faith and ask God to direct us as we move ahead. We ask for your love and prayers as we continue on this journey. I know we will have many ups and downs along the way but with our faith and love we will be able to make the way!
Earlier this month we had an answered prayer which will allow us to fund the FET. Kevin and I bought a piece of property up in Sanger back in 2008 where we thought we would build a home some day. Last year we decided that's not where we wanted to live and we decided to put it on the market. Selling the land gave us a small amount back which will hopefully be right around the cost of the FET. God truly does provide for us when we trust and follow him, and we will continue to do just that. I know God will provide a way for us to continue the treatments even if we end up having to do IVF again. I will do whatever it takes and I won't give up just as God hasn't given up on his children.
Kevin and I talked today about our journey to each other and how God had a plan for us before we ever knew it. We know God has plan for us as parents as well and that journey might just take a little longer than we expected or desired. I never realized that I could love Kevin more with every passing day but I do. This journey has made us even closer and I am so thankful for my true love.
The emails, calls, flowers and prayers today have helped more than you will ever know. We truly have the greatest friends and family anyone could ever ask for. Our parents have been a great strength to us as well and we appreciate their love and support. I have a dear friend who has been in my exact shoes today and her words meant more than she will ever know. I know God put her specifically in my life for this exact day and I am so thankful for her friendship and encouragement.
We know God has a specific plan for us and we will continue to follow his guidance for our lives. We will live on faith and ask God to direct us as we move ahead. We ask for your love and prayers as we continue on this journey. I know we will have many ups and downs along the way but with our faith and love we will be able to make the way!
Jul 22, 2011
Pain, Progestrone and the Frozen Embryo
Progesterone in Oil injections are a pain in the butt, literally! I have bruises, knots and can barely sit on my rear. I had been forewarned that POI injections were crappy but I really didn't get it, until now! My sweet husband does such a great job giving me the shots but its the after pain and knots that hurt not the shot itself. At least the only other side effects have been a headache and slight nausea. Dr. Douglas had given me some Zofran which has come in handy. I am really happy to take the injections as long as needed for the embryos but I just had to let it all out. They are not fun!
Okay, enough with the POI injections and on to bigger better news. Thursday morning the embryologist called and we found out that the ARTs department was able to freeze one of our sweet little embryos. I had really hoped deep down in my heart that we would be able to freeze one but my head kept telling me not to get upset if we didn't get the opportunity to do so. We are so thankful for that embryo that is frozen and I am so thankful for the embryologists and Dr. Douglas for taking such good care of them.
Kevin has been such a blessing the last couple of day, but he is that way all the time. He has done laundry, dishes, vacuumed and cooked. He has beyond understanding and I am so grateful for this sweet husband. Kevin has also been really protective of me not just physically but emotionally. He hid the cleaning wipes, and if you know me that's big! I have also been blessed by amazing friends and family. After I posted my last blog I was shocked by all the texts, emails and phone calls I received. Friends, coworkers, family and sorority sisters that I don't talk to every day where telling me how much they loved me and they were praying for us. Also, one of Kevin's best friends little girls have been praying for us during all these procedures. When Kevin told me these sweet girls were praying for us it brought tears to my eyes. I also know there are people out there silently praying for us and we feel that love too! Kevin and I are thankful for all of these supportive people in our lives!
People have also told me they are amazed by the images of our embryos. Its so hard to believe that at one point in our life we were that small. To think one small egg gets beaten with sperm until one breaks through and then life begins. At one time I thought it just took one sperm, which in the end it does. But it actually takes those other millions of sperms to breakdown the outer edge of the egg before that one sperm can fertilize it. Its hard to believe that we were that fertilized embryo. I never thought of any of these things until Kevin and I started this journey in the spring of 2010. God is truly an awesome God!
I really don't want to come off as someone who doesn't complain or gripe about issues. I will be there first one to tell you that I am not always that positive. Lately its been easier to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I don't want to be that girl that posts really crappy and grippy blogs complaining about life. I hate that! Hit me in the forehead if I become that girl!
Please continue to pray for these precious embryos. We don't know what's ahead but we are thankful God's in control. And now we continue to wait and pray for a blessing!
Okay, enough with the POI injections and on to bigger better news. Thursday morning the embryologist called and we found out that the ARTs department was able to freeze one of our sweet little embryos. I had really hoped deep down in my heart that we would be able to freeze one but my head kept telling me not to get upset if we didn't get the opportunity to do so. We are so thankful for that embryo that is frozen and I am so thankful for the embryologists and Dr. Douglas for taking such good care of them.
Kevin has been such a blessing the last couple of day, but he is that way all the time. He has done laundry, dishes, vacuumed and cooked. He has beyond understanding and I am so grateful for this sweet husband. Kevin has also been really protective of me not just physically but emotionally. He hid the cleaning wipes, and if you know me that's big! I have also been blessed by amazing friends and family. After I posted my last blog I was shocked by all the texts, emails and phone calls I received. Friends, coworkers, family and sorority sisters that I don't talk to every day where telling me how much they loved me and they were praying for us. Also, one of Kevin's best friends little girls have been praying for us during all these procedures. When Kevin told me these sweet girls were praying for us it brought tears to my eyes. I also know there are people out there silently praying for us and we feel that love too! Kevin and I are thankful for all of these supportive people in our lives!
People have also told me they are amazed by the images of our embryos. Its so hard to believe that at one point in our life we were that small. To think one small egg gets beaten with sperm until one breaks through and then life begins. At one time I thought it just took one sperm, which in the end it does. But it actually takes those other millions of sperms to breakdown the outer edge of the egg before that one sperm can fertilize it. Its hard to believe that we were that fertilized embryo. I never thought of any of these things until Kevin and I started this journey in the spring of 2010. God is truly an awesome God!
I really don't want to come off as someone who doesn't complain or gripe about issues. I will be there first one to tell you that I am not always that positive. Lately its been easier to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I don't want to be that girl that posts really crappy and grippy blogs complaining about life. I hate that! Hit me in the forehead if I become that girl!
Please continue to pray for these precious embryos. We don't know what's ahead but we are thankful God's in control. And now we continue to wait and pray for a blessing!
Jul 20, 2011
Embryo Transfer and Bed Rest
Today was the big day, the embryo transfer. When we got to the ARTs department we were greeted by the same nurses that we met last week. We went back to the same recovery room where we had to sign a few disclosures and change into a gown. Kevin even had to put on blue booties, a hat and face mask. The embryologist that graded our embryos came in to introduce herself and give us a final update. We had two really good blastocysts (one was even classified as an expanded blastocyst) and she recommend us using these two for the transfer. She showed us the picture of these embryos and showed us where the baby is.
Hale Embryos One and Two
Top Picture is of the expanded blastocyst and the bottom is the second blastocyst. You can see the baby in the top embryo on the left hand side, as well as the bottom one but it isn't as clear due to it being smaller. Both of these are about the size of a ballpoint pen tip.
Once we signed off on putting in both embryos it was only a short time before Dr. Douglas came in, he was actually about 30 mins early so we were able to get started early. Off we all went to the transfer room, which was much like the room where my eggs were removed. It was really cold, lots of equipment and a huge light. I was really glad Kevin was able to be with me during this procedure and experience it. They asked me my name and DOB about 10x's, no joke. I have know idea how some labs have mixed up embryos, this place has it down. Once he had me ready to transfer he called for the embryos to come off the incubator and the embryologist brought them in, and when she stopped she read of my name/dob before handing them to Dr. Douglas to transfer. During the transfer they did a sonogram to make sure that they were transferring them into the correct area. Kevin was able to snap a few pictures during the entire thing, below is one of the embryologist bringing in the embryos.
After they had been transferred they take the catheter back to the lab to flush and make sure all embryos came out during the transfer and didn't get stuck. Once they gave us a all clear they moved me back to the bed and laid me back at an angle. It was such an angle I felt like my hair was dragging the ground. Dr. Douglas and the nurse wheeled me back to the recovery room where I had to lay flat for an hour before we could leave. Before leaving they let us know they would call tomorrow and let us know if the two embryos we had left would make it to freeze. It looked positive but they had to wait another 24 hours before they could freeze. It will be 12-24 hours before the transferred embryos implant and they said I could feel a slight pain from that but nothing bad. I am still having some pain from the removal but they said that was normal, after all they removed 26 eggs.
On our way home we grabbed some lunch and then headed home so I could stay on bed rest. Kevin has held me to it, only allowing me to get up to go to the bathroom. I am so thankful for him and his love through this process. I don't know how I could have done it all without him. He has been so great with the progesterone in oil injections at night too. They are by far the worst shots I have had to take. The ointment is thick and takes for ever to inject. I actually sit on a heating pad before the shot so its easier to go in. One of the nurses at my work told me a trick about not holding weight on the leg he is injecting it in. That totally did the trick and last night I had little pain. The first two shots I have knots and bruises from, but overall they help the little embryos implant so we are willing to do whatever we need to!
It will be a couple weeks before we know if it worked. Even then I have a high risk of a chemical pregnancy so we want to be very cautious before telling everyone. We will actually have two blood tests. The first beta will show if I am actually pregnant and the second one will show that my HCG levels have doubled and that is a viable pregnancy. Thank you again for your prayers and please keep them coming!
Also, continue to pray for my mom. She was released from the hospital today and is in a walking cast. She will be out of commission for a few weeks and will need help getting around. Please pray for a quick an easy recovery.
Jul 19, 2011
Growing Embryos
We got good news on Monday about our little embryos. We ended up having 12 fertilize, one fertilized after the 24 hour mark so the lab didn't see it until Monday. They also gave us the grading for each of these 12 embryos. The embryologist felt good about the day 3 grading and that encouraged us. The waiting is the hardest part!
Embryo Grading (26 eggs removed; 12 fertilized)
Tomorrow morning they will grade the embryos one more time before the transfer and then transfer the two best embryos. We are still praying that we will have a couple to freeze so that if this doesn't work we can do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and it doesn't cost near as much.
Tomorrow when we get home I will be on bed rest until noon Thursday which shouldn't be bad. Tomorrow I plan on resting when we get home, we are hoping that it will not be painful but are prepared if it is.Thursday my company is letting me work from home so I plan to lay down as much as possible while working.
Kevin and I are really excited about this phase. He is planning on taking lots of pictures of these two little embryos when we see them tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers and love! We have been overwhelmed by the love that is coming from family and friends. We are so thankful for this love and support!
Embryo Grading (26 eggs removed; 12 fertilized)
- 2 Excellent
- 5 Good
- 2 Average
- 1 Poor
- 2 Very Poor
Tomorrow morning they will grade the embryos one more time before the transfer and then transfer the two best embryos. We are still praying that we will have a couple to freeze so that if this doesn't work we can do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and it doesn't cost near as much.
Tomorrow when we get home I will be on bed rest until noon Thursday which shouldn't be bad. Tomorrow I plan on resting when we get home, we are hoping that it will not be painful but are prepared if it is.Thursday my company is letting me work from home so I plan to lay down as much as possible while working.
Kevin and I are really excited about this phase. He is planning on taking lots of pictures of these two little embryos when we see them tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers and love! We have been overwhelmed by the love that is coming from family and friends. We are so thankful for this love and support!
Jul 16, 2011
The Retrieval: Day 0 and Day 1
The night before the retrieval neither of us were able to sleep. We were both nervous about what was going to take place and how many eggs they would be able to retrieve. When we arrived at 6:00 am we were met by the nursing staff and told I was the only patient of the day so I had the entire team to myself. I had the most wonderful nurse who was so kind when setting up my IV. I had prayed that it would be easy, and it was. She even gave me something for my reflux and that calmed me down as well.
The Anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and I told him that I sometimes get nauseous with the meds. He assured me that I wouldn't and he would give me something that would make me feel better. Dr. Douglas came in and shook both our hands and lead us through the process one more time. With tears in my eyes they wheeled me to the OR. It looked just like what you would expect and OR to look like. Lots of machines, lights, freezing temperatures, ect. I moved over to the table and they started hooking me up to many different monitors. My fear seemed to get worse but the nurse stood with me and held my hand. That was the last thing I remembered. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room with Kevin. The doctor came back in and told us they got 20+ eggs but we would get an accurate count in a minute. He told me I would be in some pain later on so he gave me a script for meds and something for nausea. Kevin said I had a long conversation with him and used the word fabulous but I remember nothing. Kevin thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and continued to use the word fabulous all day.
The director of the ARTs department came in to introduce himself and gave us a final count of 26 eggs. I was shocked. We didn't think we would have this many at all, but they told us that more than likely most wouldn't fertilize because they were not mature. But they still felt I had a good number that was mature and were confident with the results. I was able to really wake up at this point and drink lots of fluid. The nurse gave me another bag of fluids in my IV to help prevent issues with overstimulating. I was able to eat a couple of graham crackers and go to the restroom which meant I was able to go home. We were both truly impressed with the team at the ARTs department, which made the procedure and time there easy. The worst part of the experience was the fear I had before it started. I hope we never have to do this again but if we do I know I could handle it!
Kevin and I came home after picking up some breakfast and fell fast asleep. We slept most of the day and laid around watching movies. We were both able to breath easier knowing that all had gone well. Kevin also got a surprise that afternoon . He had ordered a telescope, yes that's right a telescope. This hunter and fisherman I married also has a small portion of geek in him. He was able to set it up and fiddle with it while I rested yesterday. He was so sweet to me making sure I wasn't in pain and getting whatever I needed so I didn't have to get up. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and friend in my life.
This morning (day one) the embryologist called and said that out of the 26 eggs retrieved that only 11 have fertilized. She told me this was great, many people only have a handful fertilize. She said we are looking at a five day transfer which would be Wednesday. They will call us on Monday (day three) and let us know how things are looking with the embryos, if for some reason a majority of them die between now and then we will likely do a transfer at Monday but she felt with my age we shouldn't have that problem. They will also start grading the embryos to let us know which are the most viable ones to put back. Because of my age our doctor will only put two in at the time of transfer. Because of issues with multiples it is best to put in as few as possible.
Overall we had a good experience with the retrieval, even with the foot long needle (which I luckily never had to see). I have been in some pretty rough pain but it seems to be going away for now with a couple Tylenol and Advil. Please remember these embryos in your prayers. Please pray that we will have enough to put two in and freeze two (and that they will be the best quality needed). We are really excited about the transfer and looking forward to seeing pictures of these embryos. Not many people get to see their children at such a young phase! Please pray my body will heal and except these embryos.
Tomorrow night we begin our progesterone in oil injections. Kevin has to give me these and they are pretty painful from what I hear. I think he is actually excited about giving them to me since he didn't get to do any of the other injections before. Hoping that he will do such a good job it won't hurt at all!
Note: I am sure this post has tons of misspelled words, crazy sentence structure, or may not make any sense at all. I'm still on pain meds so luckily I don't really seem to care!
The Anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and I told him that I sometimes get nauseous with the meds. He assured me that I wouldn't and he would give me something that would make me feel better. Dr. Douglas came in and shook both our hands and lead us through the process one more time. With tears in my eyes they wheeled me to the OR. It looked just like what you would expect and OR to look like. Lots of machines, lights, freezing temperatures, ect. I moved over to the table and they started hooking me up to many different monitors. My fear seemed to get worse but the nurse stood with me and held my hand. That was the last thing I remembered. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room with Kevin. The doctor came back in and told us they got 20+ eggs but we would get an accurate count in a minute. He told me I would be in some pain later on so he gave me a script for meds and something for nausea. Kevin said I had a long conversation with him and used the word fabulous but I remember nothing. Kevin thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and continued to use the word fabulous all day.
The director of the ARTs department came in to introduce himself and gave us a final count of 26 eggs. I was shocked. We didn't think we would have this many at all, but they told us that more than likely most wouldn't fertilize because they were not mature. But they still felt I had a good number that was mature and were confident with the results. I was able to really wake up at this point and drink lots of fluid. The nurse gave me another bag of fluids in my IV to help prevent issues with overstimulating. I was able to eat a couple of graham crackers and go to the restroom which meant I was able to go home. We were both truly impressed with the team at the ARTs department, which made the procedure and time there easy. The worst part of the experience was the fear I had before it started. I hope we never have to do this again but if we do I know I could handle it!
Kevin and I came home after picking up some breakfast and fell fast asleep. We slept most of the day and laid around watching movies. We were both able to breath easier knowing that all had gone well. Kevin also got a surprise that afternoon . He had ordered a telescope, yes that's right a telescope. This hunter and fisherman I married also has a small portion of geek in him. He was able to set it up and fiddle with it while I rested yesterday. He was so sweet to me making sure I wasn't in pain and getting whatever I needed so I didn't have to get up. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and friend in my life.
This morning (day one) the embryologist called and said that out of the 26 eggs retrieved that only 11 have fertilized. She told me this was great, many people only have a handful fertilize. She said we are looking at a five day transfer which would be Wednesday. They will call us on Monday (day three) and let us know how things are looking with the embryos, if for some reason a majority of them die between now and then we will likely do a transfer at Monday but she felt with my age we shouldn't have that problem. They will also start grading the embryos to let us know which are the most viable ones to put back. Because of my age our doctor will only put two in at the time of transfer. Because of issues with multiples it is best to put in as few as possible.
Overall we had a good experience with the retrieval, even with the foot long needle (which I luckily never had to see). I have been in some pretty rough pain but it seems to be going away for now with a couple Tylenol and Advil. Please remember these embryos in your prayers. Please pray that we will have enough to put two in and freeze two (and that they will be the best quality needed). We are really excited about the transfer and looking forward to seeing pictures of these embryos. Not many people get to see their children at such a young phase! Please pray my body will heal and except these embryos.
Tomorrow night we begin our progesterone in oil injections. Kevin has to give me these and they are pretty painful from what I hear. I think he is actually excited about giving them to me since he didn't get to do any of the other injections before. Hoping that he will do such a good job it won't hurt at all!
Note: I am sure this post has tons of misspelled words, crazy sentence structure, or may not make any sense at all. I'm still on pain meds so luckily I don't really seem to care!
Jul 14, 2011
The Day Before the Retrieval.....
Tomorrow morning is the big egg retrieval. We are both a little nervous but overall really excited to see how many eggs are retrieved and will fertilize. We have to be there at 6:30 am, which means we will have to leave around 5:30 but the good thing about that there will be no traffic. When we had our last sonogram on Wednesday they were able to count 15 mature eggs and several that were close to being large enough to be mature. When the procedure is over tomorrow we will have a full count of how many they took and then on Saturday they embryologist will call and let us know how many fertilize.
Please pray for these things:
Please pray for these things:
- That God will take all of my fear away (during the IV and procedure)
- That we will have 15-25 eggs removed and that 90% will fertilize
- That the embryos that fertilize will grow/divide and that we will have enough for the ET and to freeze
- That I will have minimal pain tomorrow after the procedure
Jul 8, 2011
Follistem, Menopur and Ganirelix....
The last week has a been a whirlwind to the Hale family. We are so thankful to report that Pierson's surgery went very well. They were able to fix the issue with his heart and he is recovering very quickly. Last I heard he might even be able to go home tomorrow. Lots of prayers needed still as this precious little boy recovers.
I began my nightly injection routine on Sunday of Follistem and Menopur. The side effects haven't been unbearable but noticeable. It has made me really sleepy and a little nauseous but nothing I can't push through. I am so thankful that these side effects haven't been more severe. Yesterday we had our first follow up sonogram and blood work to see how the medication is working. We had a great report of 20 follicles on each ovary with the follicles measuring around a 9. The Radiologist told us that each follicle grows about 2 mm per day and they classify them as mature when they are between 18-20 (which we already knew, this ain't our first rodeo). The prayer is that all of these follicles will grow at the same speed so that Dr. Douglas can remove all mature follicles.
The radiologist was very please with the follicles he saw which made me very happy. I was pretty nervous that they would only find a few so my legs were shaking the entire time. I told the Radiologist I was sorry but I was just a little nervous. Once we jumped that hurdle it was time to have my blood taken. All my levels ended up being great so we were able to keep my medication dosage the same.
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Tomorrow we go for a follow up sonogram to check the follicle sizes and find out if we can begin the 3rd nightly medication, Ganirelix. After that appointment we will go back on Monday and Tuesday to determine when the egg retrieval will be. They way it looks now it will either be on Thursday or Friday of next week. We will not know the date of the transfer until the embryos begin to grow and divide, which is so hard for me since I have to plan everything. God is definitely teaching me a lesson on patience.
Earlier this week I received a book from my company, Heaven is for Real. I truly work for the best company, I can't even tell you how blessed I have been by FMS. Every year we are sent a new book around Fourth of July as a fun gift. I started reading the book and couldn't put it down. Basically, the story is about a little boy who became really sick and almost dies. During this surgery he visits heaven, although his family only begins to find out the details of his trip later on.
Growing up a christian I was taught about heaven and Gods love but this book really made me think. One of the things that this little boy Colton came back from heaven was God's love for children. I can't tell you how many times as a I child I sang "Jesus loves the little children", more times than I can remember. While in heaven the little boy met his sister who had died at 6 weeks during a miscarriage. She knew him and loved him even though they had never met. I never in my mind doubted that unborn children are in heaven. It made me think even deeper because of all the things Kevin and I are going through as well.
Many people argue that life doesn't begin until there is a heartbeat, but I don't agree. I can't wait to see how many of our eggs fertilize, and I believe that everyone of those embryos are our children. I know that not all of them will make it to transfer and some will not make it to freeze but we will one day meet these precious children in heaven. I have faith that the will be with Jesus until we get there and will be surrounded by Kevin and my family who are already in heaven.
God touched my heart when reading Colton's story and it gave me a greater peace that God is truly in control and loves us unconditionally. God has a purpose and a reason for Kevin and I going through this struggle to conceive and he has made our walk closer with him. We are both excited, scared, nervous and anxious about next week but I am thankful our heavenly father is in control.
I began my nightly injection routine on Sunday of Follistem and Menopur. The side effects haven't been unbearable but noticeable. It has made me really sleepy and a little nauseous but nothing I can't push through. I am so thankful that these side effects haven't been more severe. Yesterday we had our first follow up sonogram and blood work to see how the medication is working. We had a great report of 20 follicles on each ovary with the follicles measuring around a 9. The Radiologist told us that each follicle grows about 2 mm per day and they classify them as mature when they are between 18-20 (which we already knew, this ain't our first rodeo). The prayer is that all of these follicles will grow at the same speed so that Dr. Douglas can remove all mature follicles.
The radiologist was very please with the follicles he saw which made me very happy. I was pretty nervous that they would only find a few so my legs were shaking the entire time. I told the Radiologist I was sorry but I was just a little nervous. Once we jumped that hurdle it was time to have my blood taken. All my levels ended up being great so we were able to keep my medication dosage the same.
Here is what tonight's medication looked like.
Tomorrow we go for a follow up sonogram to check the follicle sizes and find out if we can begin the 3rd nightly medication, Ganirelix. After that appointment we will go back on Monday and Tuesday to determine when the egg retrieval will be. They way it looks now it will either be on Thursday or Friday of next week. We will not know the date of the transfer until the embryos begin to grow and divide, which is so hard for me since I have to plan everything. God is definitely teaching me a lesson on patience.
Earlier this week I received a book from my company, Heaven is for Real. I truly work for the best company, I can't even tell you how blessed I have been by FMS. Every year we are sent a new book around Fourth of July as a fun gift. I started reading the book and couldn't put it down. Basically, the story is about a little boy who became really sick and almost dies. During this surgery he visits heaven, although his family only begins to find out the details of his trip later on.
Growing up a christian I was taught about heaven and Gods love but this book really made me think. One of the things that this little boy Colton came back from heaven was God's love for children. I can't tell you how many times as a I child I sang "Jesus loves the little children", more times than I can remember. While in heaven the little boy met his sister who had died at 6 weeks during a miscarriage. She knew him and loved him even though they had never met. I never in my mind doubted that unborn children are in heaven. It made me think even deeper because of all the things Kevin and I are going through as well.
Many people argue that life doesn't begin until there is a heartbeat, but I don't agree. I can't wait to see how many of our eggs fertilize, and I believe that everyone of those embryos are our children. I know that not all of them will make it to transfer and some will not make it to freeze but we will one day meet these precious children in heaven. I have faith that the will be with Jesus until we get there and will be surrounded by Kevin and my family who are already in heaven.
God touched my heart when reading Colton's story and it gave me a greater peace that God is truly in control and loves us unconditionally. God has a purpose and a reason for Kevin and I going through this struggle to conceive and he has made our walk closer with him. We are both excited, scared, nervous and anxious about next week but I am thankful our heavenly father is in control.
Jun 30, 2011
Ready, Set, Go!
Today was the big appointment Kevin and I had been waiting on. During the sonogram we basically had a good report. We did have one cyst on my right ovary that was measuring around 4 mm but Dr. Douglas didn't think it would interupt our round of IVF.
Before our appointment we stopped off at the ART (Artificial Reproductive Technology) Center which is next door to our doctors office. This is where both the egg retrieval and embryo transfer will take place. It took us right at an hour to fill all of the documents and consent forms. We were shocked with a few of the questions it asked about our religious beliefs and if we needed religious counseling before our procedure.
One part of the form we had to fill out was frozen embryos. If something were to happen to Kevin and/or I they ask what you want to do with the frozen embryos (if you happen to have any left over after your transfer). This was an easy decision for Kevin and I to make. After going through fertility treatments we understand how it feels and how frustrating it can be. We also understand financially how hard it can be on the couple. We decided to donate our embryos if something were to happen to us. Were not even sure we will have any to freeze but we are happy to have that option if we are faced with trying IVF again. The transfer of frozen embryos is half the cost of a normal IVF cycle. Its also a lot easier on your body since you don't have to take all of the FSH (stimulate) medication.
After we paid the hospitals fees and got our instruction packet we headed over to our appointment. After the sonogram our nurse took us to a room to teach us how to mix one of the injection medication (Menopur) and how to give the injection. I will start out taking Follistem and Menopur on Sunday. We will go back to the doctor next Thursday to see what our progress looks like. They expect you to have 10 days of stimulate medication before the follicle is large enough to take an ovulation stimulant. When we go back they will then teach us how to use another injection which we start on the fourth day. I am so thankful we didn't have to learn all the medications at once, it was so much information to take in all at once.
We also went through the process of how the egg retrieval will work. Basically, I will take the Ovidrell injection (ovulation stimulant) 36 hours prior to the ER. That morning I will go in and they will put me in a room. I will have a IV anesthesia and they will take me back to the OR. In the OR Dr. Douglas will use a vaginal sonogram probe to guide his way around to my ovaries. A very long needle is injected from the probe into my ovary and it sucks out a fluid containing the eggs. With my age he expects to get anywhere for 8-15 eggs. I am praying I have just the right amount of eggs and do not get hyper stimulation. Hyper stimulation can make you really sick and can lower the quality of eggs they receive. Once the eggs are removed they will wake me up and put me in recovery. After that I'm free to go home and rest the remainder of the day.
After the procedure they put the eggs and sperm in a dish on an incubator set at 35 degrees and allow them to fertilize. Once fertilized the egg is called an embryo (hence when life begins). They are then monitored every day by the doctor and lab specialist as they grow. They either do egg transfers on day 3 or day 5. They prefer to do them on day 5 because the embryo has formed more cells and is at a better stage. They will call us each day and let us know the progress and when we should expect the transfer to be. I have heard many different answers to what will happen, so we will have to play this one by ear.
Before transfer I will begin really high doses of progesterone injections (the glue that makes the embryo stick to your uterus). When its time for the transfer I will go in to the ARTs Center and will have a procedure very much like a IUI. Basically, they insert a long catheter into the uterus and release the embryos to attach. Because of my age Dr. Douglas will only allow us to insert two, because the high risk of multiples. After the transfer we won't know for two weeks if it worked. We are not allowed to use home pregnancy tests because of the sensitive hormones I will be taking.
Here is a great video of how the IVF process works!
I got really overwhelmed when reading the hospital instructions and had to put it away. I am fearful of three things (which may seem small, but are a really big deal for me). The first thing I am most fearful of is having my blood taken each time. I tend to faint so they have to lay me down, which is super embarrassing. They are so sweet to me and make sure I am comfortable but its still hard to do. Second thing is the IV for the anesthesia, I am terrified of passing out in front of the doctor. The third thing is sometimes when I don't eat and have IV meds it makes me nauseous. I was told they can give me something for that but I am still really nervous about it. Kevin told me to pray and ask God for strength to complete these things and not fear, but sometimes its easier said than done.
I know I have come so far with so many things in my life but some of the little things are hard to beat. Please pray for Kevin and I during this next couple of weeks. Please pray for strength, courage and peace. We have to remember to remain calm so that my body can do all it needs to do. I am so thankful for a loving support system who is praying me through this IVF procedure.
Before our appointment we stopped off at the ART (Artificial Reproductive Technology) Center which is next door to our doctors office. This is where both the egg retrieval and embryo transfer will take place. It took us right at an hour to fill all of the documents and consent forms. We were shocked with a few of the questions it asked about our religious beliefs and if we needed religious counseling before our procedure.
One part of the form we had to fill out was frozen embryos. If something were to happen to Kevin and/or I they ask what you want to do with the frozen embryos (if you happen to have any left over after your transfer). This was an easy decision for Kevin and I to make. After going through fertility treatments we understand how it feels and how frustrating it can be. We also understand financially how hard it can be on the couple. We decided to donate our embryos if something were to happen to us. Were not even sure we will have any to freeze but we are happy to have that option if we are faced with trying IVF again. The transfer of frozen embryos is half the cost of a normal IVF cycle. Its also a lot easier on your body since you don't have to take all of the FSH (stimulate) medication.
After we paid the hospitals fees and got our instruction packet we headed over to our appointment. After the sonogram our nurse took us to a room to teach us how to mix one of the injection medication (Menopur) and how to give the injection. I will start out taking Follistem and Menopur on Sunday. We will go back to the doctor next Thursday to see what our progress looks like. They expect you to have 10 days of stimulate medication before the follicle is large enough to take an ovulation stimulant. When we go back they will then teach us how to use another injection which we start on the fourth day. I am so thankful we didn't have to learn all the medications at once, it was so much information to take in all at once.
We also went through the process of how the egg retrieval will work. Basically, I will take the Ovidrell injection (ovulation stimulant) 36 hours prior to the ER. That morning I will go in and they will put me in a room. I will have a IV anesthesia and they will take me back to the OR. In the OR Dr. Douglas will use a vaginal sonogram probe to guide his way around to my ovaries. A very long needle is injected from the probe into my ovary and it sucks out a fluid containing the eggs. With my age he expects to get anywhere for 8-15 eggs. I am praying I have just the right amount of eggs and do not get hyper stimulation. Hyper stimulation can make you really sick and can lower the quality of eggs they receive. Once the eggs are removed they will wake me up and put me in recovery. After that I'm free to go home and rest the remainder of the day.
After the procedure they put the eggs and sperm in a dish on an incubator set at 35 degrees and allow them to fertilize. Once fertilized the egg is called an embryo (hence when life begins). They are then monitored every day by the doctor and lab specialist as they grow. They either do egg transfers on day 3 or day 5. They prefer to do them on day 5 because the embryo has formed more cells and is at a better stage. They will call us each day and let us know the progress and when we should expect the transfer to be. I have heard many different answers to what will happen, so we will have to play this one by ear.
Before transfer I will begin really high doses of progesterone injections (the glue that makes the embryo stick to your uterus). When its time for the transfer I will go in to the ARTs Center and will have a procedure very much like a IUI. Basically, they insert a long catheter into the uterus and release the embryos to attach. Because of my age Dr. Douglas will only allow us to insert two, because the high risk of multiples. After the transfer we won't know for two weeks if it worked. We are not allowed to use home pregnancy tests because of the sensitive hormones I will be taking.
Here is a great video of how the IVF process works!
I got really overwhelmed when reading the hospital instructions and had to put it away. I am fearful of three things (which may seem small, but are a really big deal for me). The first thing I am most fearful of is having my blood taken each time. I tend to faint so they have to lay me down, which is super embarrassing. They are so sweet to me and make sure I am comfortable but its still hard to do. Second thing is the IV for the anesthesia, I am terrified of passing out in front of the doctor. The third thing is sometimes when I don't eat and have IV meds it makes me nauseous. I was told they can give me something for that but I am still really nervous about it. Kevin told me to pray and ask God for strength to complete these things and not fear, but sometimes its easier said than done.
I know I have come so far with so many things in my life but some of the little things are hard to beat. Please pray for Kevin and I during this next couple of weeks. Please pray for strength, courage and peace. We have to remember to remain calm so that my body can do all it needs to do. I am so thankful for a loving support system who is praying me through this IVF procedure.
Jun 27, 2011
Medications, Appointments and Prayers....
This Thursday is our first appointment back with Dr. Douglas after our month off with the failed IUI. We both are really excited about this upcoming visit which will layout the plan for our IVF. I have tried to stay positive but some days the basket of medications sitting on our kitchen counter looks overwhelming. I feel like we will be more prepared after our appointment and sonogram on Thursday. During that appointment we will be trained on to use the injections and when to use them. We are blessed with the love and prayers from friends and family over the last week. I'm a true believer in the power of prayer!
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I also have a special prayer request for my sweet nephew, Pierson. Next Wednesday he will have surgery on his heart. Please keep him and his parents in your prayers during his procedure and recovery. I am so thankful for wonderful doctors and technology who can fix problems such as Pierson's.
I also have a special prayer request for my sweet nephew, Pierson. Next Wednesday he will have surgery on his heart. Please keep him and his parents in your prayers during his procedure and recovery. I am so thankful for wonderful doctors and technology who can fix problems such as Pierson's.
Jun 20, 2011
Count your blessings name them one by one......
Last Wednesday we found out that our 2nd IUI was not successful. We were already prepared that this was a possibility and we found ourselves at a peaceful place. We had already decided that we wanted to move forward with IVF if the IUI was unsuccessful but since we were both off work last week (on our staycation) we were able to spend some time to truly think and pray about this decision. We both decided we were ready to do this next step and we aren't letting the money stand in our way.
We know that we have a higher chance for this procedure to fail and even if we do get pregnant we have a higher risk for miscarriage but we are so thankful that God is in control of all of this. We have given it to him and will follow his will for our lives. Please continue to pray for Kevin and I on this new journey. We have already purchased the medications and start the injections on the 30th. For now that’s all we really know, but we will continue to use this blog as a way to update family and friends.
We have tried our best to stay positive with our infertility issues and want to remember our blessings. Thinking about our blessings can make the hard days much easier to handle. I am so thankful to have love and support from family, friends and coworkers. I have been blessed with two sweet friends who have gone through IVF. Their support, advice and prayers have truly meant so much to Kevin and I. We are also thankful for loving and supportive parents. They are there for us when we need advice or just a shoulder to lean on.
I have been beyond blessed to work at a Christian company full of believers and to have understanding and caring supervisors. They have been so supportive and understanding about all of our appointments and procedures. Not many places would be so understanding, and I am very grateful for FMS and its leaders.
Last week Kevin and I both had the week off, which was a true blessing. We stayed busy with painting the exterior of our house, swimming, installing lights at my parents, lunch at Joe T's, Omni Theater, more swimming, BBQ’ing, and just spending time together. I am always thankful for the time we have together and I was glad we decided to stay home for our vacation. We are planning a fun weekend away around our anniversary in November which gives us something to look forward to.
More to come on our adventure with IVF, thank you again for your prayers! God never gives us more than we can handle!
We know that we have a higher chance for this procedure to fail and even if we do get pregnant we have a higher risk for miscarriage but we are so thankful that God is in control of all of this. We have given it to him and will follow his will for our lives. Please continue to pray for Kevin and I on this new journey. We have already purchased the medications and start the injections on the 30th. For now that’s all we really know, but we will continue to use this blog as a way to update family and friends.
We have tried our best to stay positive with our infertility issues and want to remember our blessings. Thinking about our blessings can make the hard days much easier to handle. I am so thankful to have love and support from family, friends and coworkers. I have been blessed with two sweet friends who have gone through IVF. Their support, advice and prayers have truly meant so much to Kevin and I. We are also thankful for loving and supportive parents. They are there for us when we need advice or just a shoulder to lean on.
I have been beyond blessed to work at a Christian company full of believers and to have understanding and caring supervisors. They have been so supportive and understanding about all of our appointments and procedures. Not many places would be so understanding, and I am very grateful for FMS and its leaders.
Last week Kevin and I both had the week off, which was a true blessing. We stayed busy with painting the exterior of our house, swimming, installing lights at my parents, lunch at Joe T's, Omni Theater, more swimming, BBQ’ing, and just spending time together. I am always thankful for the time we have together and I was glad we decided to stay home for our vacation. We are planning a fun weekend away around our anniversary in November which gives us something to look forward to.
More to come on our adventure with IVF, thank you again for your prayers! God never gives us more than we can handle!
Jun 1, 2011
And now we wait.....
Today Kevin and I had our second IUI procedure, which was a lot easier than the first one. Dr. Douglas actually preformed this procedure and told us that everything looked perfect. We had two follicles (21 mm and 18 mm) on the right ovary. We had a third one that was a 13 and they didn't expect that one to release. We used more medications this round than we have ever used. We spent about $1500 at the pharmacy on our injectables but we were happy to see success from that. We are very hopeful that this IUI will work but we continue to know that God is in control. Now we play the waiting game. We won't know anything for a couple weeks if this IUI took or if we will proceed with IVF. Kevin said I need a project to keep me busy during that time to keep me occupied and I completely agree.
Over the last year and a half I have met many other couples that are going through the same issues that we are going through with infertility. There are some great online support groups that have been helpful as well. Infertility is a journey that unless you have taken it personally you can't really understand how it feels, so it has been really comforting to have others to lean on when you need it.
Since I have been on this journey I have found that some people don't know how to express their support for those going through infertility issues. Someone else I know who is going through infertility treatments passed this website along to me on Infertility Etiquette and I totally agree with it. If you know someone that is going through infertility I would urge you to read it, it could help you understand how to be supportive to those going through treatments.
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
At first Kevin and I weren't sure how open we wanted to be with what we are going through, it is such a personal walk and somethings are really hard to express to others. But I have really found that talking to others about what we are going through can be therapeutic. I know God has a purpose for choosing Kevin and I to walk this journey, we really just couldn't see at first why this had to happen to us and what we could do for others from this. As time has passed on I realized that we can pass along wisdom and support from our journey to others going through the same issues.
We have been so blessed with a loving circle of friends and family and are so thankful for the love, support and prayers we have felt lately. I can't express to you how thankful we are for the calls, emails, card and visits. God truly does give us the comfort we need, when we need it the most. I am often reminded of a verse that I was taught in church as a child. Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. What a comfort it is to have Jesus on our side and provide us with the strength we need!
Over the last year and a half I have met many other couples that are going through the same issues that we are going through with infertility. There are some great online support groups that have been helpful as well. Infertility is a journey that unless you have taken it personally you can't really understand how it feels, so it has been really comforting to have others to lean on when you need it.
Since I have been on this journey I have found that some people don't know how to express their support for those going through infertility issues. Someone else I know who is going through infertility treatments passed this website along to me on Infertility Etiquette and I totally agree with it. If you know someone that is going through infertility I would urge you to read it, it could help you understand how to be supportive to those going through treatments.
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
At first Kevin and I weren't sure how open we wanted to be with what we are going through, it is such a personal walk and somethings are really hard to express to others. But I have really found that talking to others about what we are going through can be therapeutic. I know God has a purpose for choosing Kevin and I to walk this journey, we really just couldn't see at first why this had to happen to us and what we could do for others from this. As time has passed on I realized that we can pass along wisdom and support from our journey to others going through the same issues.
We have been so blessed with a loving circle of friends and family and are so thankful for the love, support and prayers we have felt lately. I can't express to you how thankful we are for the calls, emails, card and visits. God truly does give us the comfort we need, when we need it the most. I am often reminded of a verse that I was taught in church as a child. Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. What a comfort it is to have Jesus on our side and provide us with the strength we need!
· January - March 2010 stopped BC and no AF
· April 2010- Diagnosed with PCOS by OB
· June 2010- Round One of Clomid (25 mg for 7 days); No follicles/Cancelled Cycle
· July/August 2010- Round two of Clomid (25 mg for 7 days); No follicles/Cancelled Cycle
· September 2010- Round three of Clomid (25 mg for 7 days); No follicles/Cancelled Cycle
· November/December 2010- Round four with Clomid (150 mg for 7 days). No follicles/cancelled cycle
· January 2011- Round One with Femera. No follicles/cancelled cycle. Our OB suggested we meet with a specialist
· February 2011- Consultation with Dr. Douglas (RE) in Plano
· February/March 2011- 150 mg of Clomid and Femera for 7 days. No follicles big enough, ended in a cancelled cycle
· March/April 2011- Clomid, Femera, Follistem, and Ovidrell. Two follicles (21 mm and 20 mm). First IUI ended in a BFN
· May/June 2011- Clomid, Femera, Follistem, and Ovidrell. Two follicles produced and second IUI completed.
May 25, 2011
Doctors, Medications and Sonograms
Well, the last couple months have been a world wind. Kevin and I have been to the doctor at least 20 times in the last couple of months. We love our Reproductive Endocrinologist and his staff. They have truly been a blessing to work with and I have been so thankful for their support.
We tried one cycle with just a combination of oral medications to see how my body reacted. I did 150 mg of Clomid and 2 Femara's per night for a week. We did two sonograms but the follicles didn't get bigger than 4 mm so they cancelled that cycle. The second cycle my RE gave me the same oral medications with a new injection as well. I started at 100 cc's of Follistem every other night. Then I bumped it up to 150 taking a total of 1100 cc's before I produced a 18 mm and 19 mm follicle. Once we got the correct size follicle I took a Ovidrel injection to make the follicle release into an egg. After I did a post cotal test that was negative they decided an IUI would be best, so we went for it.
Then it was time to sit back and wait, two weeks was like a eternity. If you take a test too soon you will likely have a false positive due to the hormones left over in your system from the Ovidrell injection. We waited the appropriate time and I already knew that it didn't work. A couple days later I was able to start on my own with out any Provera (which was a huge accomplishment) and I had a follow up sono. The sono found that I had 1 cyst that had been left over from the cycle. A week later it had taken care of its self and was gone which is typically the case with these types of cysts.
We started our new round of medication to go forward with a second IUI. I started taking the same oral drugs that I had taken the last two cycles and then I took an increased dosage of Follistem. I started at 150 cc every other night for the first three nights and then 150 for two nights. We went back for a follow up sono and we had one follicle that was at 14 and another was a 11 mm. They drew blood this appointment which showed my progesterone to be low. They told me to increase my dosage to 225 cc's and I will go tomorrow afternoon to see what my follicles look like. If they are close to 18mm we will proceed by taking the Ovidrel to release the egg and do a IUI.
Then it will be time to wait again. If the IUI doesn't take this time we have decided to move forward with IVF. This was a big decision for Kevin and I to make. The cost of IVF is about $14,000 and my insurance doesn't cover it. We actually have had to pay out of pocket for all of the treatments, which run about $2000 each time you try. We decided we didn't need to make our decision based on money. We prayed about it and God made a way for us to have the money. We actually were able to get such a good interest rate that we were able to pay all of debt off and get all the money we needed to pay for one cycle of IVF. God is good all the time and always provides. I will never doubt that. So very soon we will be financially debt free (other than a student loan)
Only time will tell if we will move forward with IVF. God has a specific plan for Kevin and I and we have never lost faith in him. We pray without ceasing and know nothing is too hard for God!
See, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27)
Feb 7, 2011
The Appointment
Well after getting bad results from my last appointment we have decided to take it to the next level. Kevin and I are going to see Dr. Douglas at the IVF clinic in Frisco on Friday. We are both excited and scared at the same time.
I am one of those people that has to plan, research and investigate before, well, anything. I have already listed out of my question, printed off my doctors notes, and filled out all the paper work. I think it has helped me cope with the results of the failed medications and the inability to find a solution thus far.
I have some really great friends and family who have been super supportive during the day of my bad news. One of my sweet work friends who has gone through a simular situation just came in and cried with me. Not to mention my sweet husband bringing me home one of every flavor of the Nothing Bundt Cakes buntines. He is pretty great at making my days better, which is one reason I married him.
Thank you for all your sweet prayers. Please keep them coming as we find out what our next options there.
On the lighter side....During our 4 day ice storm this past week I did a lot of cooking. I made homeade tortilla's, caramel brownies, queso, red velvet cupcakes, and chicken in dumplings (in no particular order). Kevin was thrilled!
I am one of those people that has to plan, research and investigate before, well, anything. I have already listed out of my question, printed off my doctors notes, and filled out all the paper work. I think it has helped me cope with the results of the failed medications and the inability to find a solution thus far.
I have some really great friends and family who have been super supportive during the day of my bad news. One of my sweet work friends who has gone through a simular situation just came in and cried with me. Not to mention my sweet husband bringing me home one of every flavor of the Nothing Bundt Cakes buntines. He is pretty great at making my days better, which is one reason I married him.
Thank you for all your sweet prayers. Please keep them coming as we find out what our next options there.
On the lighter side....During our 4 day ice storm this past week I did a lot of cooking. I made homeade tortilla's, caramel brownies, queso, red velvet cupcakes, and chicken in dumplings (in no particular order). Kevin was thrilled!
Jan 19, 2011
Why Blog?
I had been debating about writing a blog for a while and finally decided it was time. So where to start? Well I guess I should start with PCOS. In April of 2010 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS is a disorder that makes your ovaries produce multiple cysts and basically shuts down your normal cycle. It can also cause other issues such as diabetes, heart disease and ovarian cancer. There are not a lot of words to explain the feeling that I had when I found out I had PCOS. It actually took me months to disolve the idea and really understand what was going on with my body.
I was very lucky to have a OBGYN that diagnosed me quickly and started treatment. I am currently starting my third medication/dosage strength and will find out Friday if it is working. I am currently on Femara, which is a drug created for women with breast cancer. It's side effects weren't as bad as the other medications I had tried. I learned through this process it isn't always great to read about your condition or research medications online. Theres a lot of negative info online and we have to face it God created us all different so no one else can tell me my story and what's going to happen next.
Kevin has been a huge support during the testing, doctors appointments and medication. I haven't always been as loving due to the hormonal medications. I can't imagine going through this process without that support and love. We both know that God is in control and we are so thankful of that. When know that he is going to direct us to the path that he has drawn for us.
This will be the home for updates on what is going on in our life. Please feel free to follow our adventure!
I was very lucky to have a OBGYN that diagnosed me quickly and started treatment. I am currently starting my third medication/dosage strength and will find out Friday if it is working. I am currently on Femara, which is a drug created for women with breast cancer. It's side effects weren't as bad as the other medications I had tried. I learned through this process it isn't always great to read about your condition or research medications online. Theres a lot of negative info online and we have to face it God created us all different so no one else can tell me my story and what's going to happen next.
Kevin has been a huge support during the testing, doctors appointments and medication. I haven't always been as loving due to the hormonal medications. I can't imagine going through this process without that support and love. We both know that God is in control and we are so thankful of that. When know that he is going to direct us to the path that he has drawn for us.
This will be the home for updates on what is going on in our life. Please feel free to follow our adventure!
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